Even before the California drought was threatening food security for basically every American, almond milk drinkers were being singled out. No longer could California’s Millennials sip their almond milk lattes in peace, they were now pariahs, wastefully sloshing around a few almonds in a whole lot of water for an over-priced latte they probably had to stand in line a half an hour to get. What a way to spend a Saturday. Mother Jones’ Tom Philpott lovingly scolded almond milk drinkers last year for partaking in “an abuse of a great foodstuff,” he wrote, noting that a protein-packed almond gets quite diluted in a jug of almond milk (which is mostly water)—a fool’s gold, of sorts.
Okay, hipsters, you got us. Here’s something we didn’t expect to see in your fancy craft cocktails: really expensive environmentally irresponsible artisanal ice.