New Diet Guarantees Health and Weight Loss — No Lifestyle Change Needed!

waist measurement

New study reveals how you can lose weight, reduce bad cholesterol, have more energy, and feel great — without giving up fast food, junk food, or a sedentary lifestyle. Read on, to find out how!

Haha, no, just kidding: that doesn’t exist. Please stop falling for it!

Eat less, eat better, and move a bit… eat for health, and weight generally resolves itself. There’s no shortcut — fast food is harmful; junk food causes problems; and physical activity is important. Let’s stop rewarding the food-and-diet-product manufacturers for telling lies!


  1. Eat a varied, whole-foods, minimally processed, plant-based dietorganic to the greatest degree possible (if you don’t want pesticides or GMOs in your food).
  2. If you’re striving for weight loss, omit added oils or other fats.
  3. Seek out physical exercise, working towards sufficient activity to maintain a mild sweat for 30 minutes, about 4-5 times per week.

As always, check with your doctor before beginning any weight-loss or excercise program.

No one will sell you that advice, but I offer it for free — and it works better than any diet pill you can buy, or fad diet any author tries to sell you. Happy healthy eating!

And (oh yes) Happy April Fool’s Day, too!

Image credit: Creative Commons photo by lululemon athletica.

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About the Author

is an ecovore, veganist, messy chef, green girl, food revolutionary, and general free-thinkin' rabble-rouser. M.S. in a health profession, with strong interests in biology, nutrition, and healthy living - find her on .
  • John L. Farthing

    Point taken! And the point is made all the more effectively with good satire. I’ve just received the best possible April Fool’s Day present. Thanks!

  • Justine

    I’ll admit, I was a little hopeful when I clicked on the article. Good prank and great message.

  • What I think is funny is that all the adsense ads that pop up on the sidebar of this article are for MIRACLE diets! :)

  • The “Miracle” in any diet is when the person accepts responsibility for their own health, and begins to act differently. Repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result — that’s the definition of insanity, right?
    I have been following a whole foods, plant based, mostly vegan lifestyle for the past eight months, and have lost 50 pounds so far. I tell people it is the easiest and most effective thing I have EVER done to improve my health and to lose weight. The only hard part was in completely changing everything I was previously doing. :-)
    People want things to be different, they just don’t want anything to change. Miracle diets, sadly, will always have a huge target audience.
    Thanks for an entertaining post!

    • Yay, that makes me happy!

      And you’ve hit on something I think is really important: CHANGING HABITS is the thing that’s hard… eating well isn’t! Eating vegan (or mostly-vegan, or real-food/ whole-food/ slow food or what have you) is sooooooo easy and satisfying, once those habits become the new ‘normal’ — at least, that’s been my experience… Changing everything you’re doing with food is hard at first — because it’s CHANGE!

      But the payoff is SO worth that initial effort…

      Thanks for sharing you thoughts! It’s nice to know I’m not just screaming into the diet-product wind all by myself. :-)